Two more weeks and I'm back to school. 2nd yr Med. The thought that I need to read & memorize tons of books makes me feel nauseous with fear. Suddenly, I don't know why I'm in med school. Why?! Why?! Why?! ... Okay, I need to calm down.. Breathe in, breathe out.. *sigh* I practically grew up in a hospital because my mom didn't trust my yaya back then. And ever since I could write my name, I wanted to be just like her, a doctor. And in high school, I became more specific... I wanted to be a successful "neuro-surgeon". My dream was upgraded. College came and went, and I had to decide if I'd still go to med and completely forget about my dream of working in US as a medical technologist. Something happened and I decided right away that I'd go to med school (a very very wrong reason). I know I can be stupid at times but I didn't know I can be that stupid. Anyhow, my first year in med school was a very exciting/mind-body exhausting/soul wrecking/sometimes drudging/blood-guts sucking experience. In short, a rollercoaster ride from hell. My neurology was ok but my anatomy sucked big time, so I don't want to be a surgeon anymore. And during those times that I thought I'd die, I met her. She made everything bearable (though sometimes I feel like I'm on the brink of losing my sanity). She's always there and her constant loving reassurance that I'd be ok got me through my first year. It's been my lifelong dream and I know there's no turning back. I guess I just have to pray harder this time. Oh God... Second year, here I come.
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