FOR MY CELINA

I'm in the mood for love
Simply because you're near me
Funny, but when you're near me
I'm in the mood for love...

Heaven is in your eyes
Bright as the stars we're under
Oh, is it any wonder
That I'm in the mood for love?

Why stop to think of whether
This little dream might fade?
We've put our hearts together
Now we are one, I'm not afraid...

And if there's a cloud above
If it should rain, we'll let it
But for tonight, forget it
I'm in the mood for love...

THE EX FILES

How much information do you really need to know about a person's past? Is it really important to know stuff like that?

I've never shared so much about my past except now. I don't know. I told her everything about mine and she told hers. She has 1 ex and probably tons of admirers before, I have 15 exs and 4 might-have-beens. How come her past matters to me while mine doesn't bother her? Maybe because I think she loved her ex so much, it was something real (2 yrs and 8 months daw). My longest relationship lasted for a year and 8 months, my shortest probably was only 14 hours. Only a few made me fall in love though I couldn't sustain the feeling, others were just there to fill in the gaps of my messy life. My constant yearning for attention and affection had gotten me into lots of trouble yet I never learned... only now. I feel she's real.. What we have now is real. And it drives me crazy to think that once in her life she already felt that. It's senseless, I know, but it makes me really jealous. *sigh* Oh well, I guess I have to live with that. Ho-hum.. :-(

THE SONG IN MY HEAD

Across the Universe

Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup,
They slither while they pass, they slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind,
Possessing and caressing me.
Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Images of broken light which dance before me like a million eyes
They call me on and on across the universe,
Thoughts meander like a restless wind inside a letter box
They tumble blindly as they make their way across the universe
Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Sounds of laughter, shades of earth are ringing
Through my open ears inciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns,
It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru de va om
Nothing's gonna change my world,
Nothing's gonna change my world.

Jai guru de va.

INDESCRIBABLE FEAR

Two more weeks and I'm back to school. 2nd yr Med. The thought that I need to read & memorize tons of books makes me feel nauseous with fear. Suddenly, I don't know why I'm in med school. Why?! Why?! Why?! ... Okay, I need to calm down.. Breathe in, breathe out.. *sigh* I practically grew up in a hospital because my mom didn't trust my yaya back then. And ever since I could write my name, I wanted to be just like her, a doctor. And in high school, I became more specific... I wanted to be a successful "neuro-surgeon". My dream was upgraded. College came and went, and I had to decide if I'd still go to med and completely forget about my dream of working in US as a medical technologist. Something happened and I decided right away that I'd go to med school (a very very wrong reason). I know I can be stupid at times but I didn't know I can be that stupid. Anyhow, my first year in med school was a very exciting/mind-body exhausting/soul wrecking/sometimes drudging/blood-guts sucking experience. In short, a rollercoaster ride from hell. My neurology was ok but my anatomy sucked big time, so I don't want to be a surgeon anymore. And during those times that I thought I'd die, I met her. She made everything bearable (though sometimes I feel like I'm on the brink of losing my sanity). She's always there and her constant loving reassurance that I'd be ok got me through my first year. It's been my lifelong dream and I know there's no turning back. I guess I just have to pray harder this time. Oh God... Second year, here I come.

WORDS

I wish I'd learn how to write more. I don't know what happened to me. I used to love it way back in high school. Hmm... I guess the reason why I stopped is because I got my heart broken. Big time. And so everything ceased to move, especially my pen. Hope I'll find something in me, something that would really inspire me so I could write again. Bummer.

_______

I love Celina. No words could ever describe what I feel for her. I'd definitely marry her someday. (Sabi nga nya pag kaya ko na syang buhayin. ) Just wait baby, I'll do anything to be with you always. :-)

" Everytime I see you I'm alive. You're all I've got. You lift me up. The sun and the moonlight... All my dreams are in your eyes........"

JUST MOVED IN

Wish I knew more about this HTML stuff.. It's so frustrating. Ho-hum. :-(