Lies.

3/27/08

Tin,

When we first started talking to each other I felt scared of everything. Probably it's because I have been single for a loooong time that it felt new. the whole, flirting thing. But i guess much more of it is due to the fact that there is something about you, and the way you speak to me that scared me to death. You were really intense you know? the way you look at me, the way you talk. Seems like all of the things you say, you really have thought about for years... things you tell me about yourself... your likes, your dislikes, how you are in relationships, your life.. i felt that you have figured out a lot of things about yourself already. And that is scary for someone who never tried to assess what she wanted out of life. You made me think about what and who i am. Then we became really close. ironically, the person who scared the shit out of me, is the same person who attracted my mind, my heart and my soul.

We're getting good at it babe... at least i think now, you get me. i know you know it when im scared. When im embarrassed. when im guilty (that i know you've mastered). when im vulnerable. when im happy. when im sad. when im different, you notice it right away. and you know that im not alright... so you try to make things better by being the sweet person that you are. who would've thought that someone would pay attention to me? i never thought that id reach this point in my life when i will be seen... why babe? why are your eyes fixed on me....?

my heart has never been this happy. I have been left behind before and that has traumatized me in ways i can never forget... but you picked me up. And just the image of you in my mind can make my past seem little... non existent even... and im wondering how life would be like if you did not choose me.... i would probably be in that hell hole still... thinking that the hurt is bigger than me. When you hug me, i feel like im falling... so i hold tight.. and you're just there babe, giving yourself to me. have you ever thought of letting go babe?

My mind is filled with plans for the future with you babe...

I hope you feel the same way too...

I'm excited to be a doctor babe... =)

I'm excited to be the girl of your dreams...

I love you with all my heart, Tin... I will take care of you.. I promise.

-Teng